Self-worth tips [starter pack] for the girlies who feel too much.

First of all, if you haven’t really hit rock bottom, most likely you won’t have the strong will to break the cycle and change your life. With this, only life can initiate you.

For those who are so done with repeating the same pattern and decide that you deserve a love (both romantic and platonic) that shares mutual love, values, support, growth, depth, and a life quality that reflects who you truly are, here are some tips you can contemplate and start with.

1, Kind and good-hearted are the bare minimum.

That’s the baseline. There’s a sea of good people out there. If you feel it’s hard to believe what I just said, take some time to examine your beliefs about love, people, relationships. Write them down. Awareness is always the first step.

2, Know what you desire, how you love and how you want to be loved. 

If you tend to overgive, it most likely reflects your secret desire to be loved the same amount/level/intensity as how you love. It can give you some clues about what you want in a relationship, what you want to receive. Take note of the things that you tend to overgive. Is that gifts? Is that love letters? Also, take note of what makes you feel resentful and really dig deep to understand why. Do you feel the love and its depth in your connection with someone are not reciprocal? Know what your heart genuinely desires and dare to claim that as your standard.

3, Reflect on what you feed your subconscious every day

It’s always easier said than done. The embodiment usually comes after endless struggles and experiences AND a rewired subconscious with a nervous system that doesn’t freak out. It’s when you know with your whole body instead of just your mind. 

Check on the source of your consumption, people you follow on social media, things you watch frequently that are ingrained in your daily habits and belief system. What topics, events, or things are on your feed right now? Do you still resonate with those things? If not, you know what to do. Allow yourself to clear the energy of your space, digitally and physically.

4, Who do you want to be?

Knowing who you are is the foundation for whatever you’ll build later. Take note of what you feel drawn to. How does your dream life look like? What do you want to create? Who you admire can give you hints about who you want to become in the future. Take some time to get to know yourself and remember that you’re meant to grow and evolve. 

5, For lovers, dreamers, nostagists,... Don’t feel ashamed of your own feelings and your deep love for someone.

It’s the proof of your beautiful, sensitive heart. I know it can make us feel tortured for feeling so deeply, but it can make your life a hundred times richer. You have to take back your power and really claim your love as your own. Loving someone so deeply shows you the depth of your soul. Don’t be afraid to channel your art from your feelings, longings, memories, love but without the attachment to another person. You don’t want to write for anyone to read or get someone back in your life. You write because you’re a writer. You make art because you’re an artist. And the arts belong completely to yourself. 

6, Slowly move toward the new energy.

After removing what no longer fits in your life or detaching yourself from slipping into the old habits — at least energetically — make space to immerse yourself in the fresh energy that is calling to you. Dream about it. Write or make art from it. Ground that energy into the earth. Make it your new reality. Let time collapse by bringing it into the now.

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Becoming the woman who feels confident in your skin and stands strong in her power doesn’t happen overnight. But if it’s truly coming from your genuine desire to build a sustainable, grounded, rooted, and long-term life for yourself, time isn’t a big deal anymore. In fact, you don’t even think about it during the process, because there’s no “destination” at all. The more you pour your energy into yourself and invest in your growth, the more you will gradually see your reality change to reflect the world within you. 

Be patient, be kind to yourself. You’re building something that lasts for a very long time. 

You deserve the world, baby. Refuse to settle for anything less.